The circumstances in which women decide to terminate a pregnancy are enormously varied. The decision to have an abortion is never without some соnflict, and for some women and some couples it is a very painful choice.
Unwanted pregnancy
Women usually experience a mixture of powerful feelings when an unwanted pregnancy is confirmed. If it’s you, you maybe overwhelmed by anguish, fear, anger and sadness. You mightn’t know how to decide what to do or whom to turn to for help. You may fear the reactions of your partner, family and friends. You may also be afraid of parenthood or of abortion and its consequences.
You may be angry at yourself and your partner for not being careful enough about contraception, or because your contraception failed. And you may feel sad because you may want to be pregnant but know that your present circumstances are quite wrong for having a baby and supporting it properly.
The first step in sorting out your feelings is to talk the matter over with someone you oust: your partner, family, a close friend, your doctor or perhaps all of these. Be prepared for different reactions and advice from different people, and a range of opinions that may help or hinder you in deciding what to do about the pregnancy. Though you will take into account the views expressed by those who are important to you, the final decision must be your own: value judgments of others have no place in your choice.
When the foetus is at risk
The decision for abortion has a very different emotional impact, often much more painful, if your pregnancy is planned and wanted but when something has put the foetus at risk of birth defect. It may be that you’ve taken certain medicines before you realized you were pregnant, or that you’ve had an infection known to be a danger (such as German measles or toxoplasmosis) during the early weeks. Or perhaps antenatal diagnostic testing has shown that the foetus is genetically or otherwise defective.
When antenatal testing was introduced, not much thought was given to the emotional side. It was thought that women would welcome the tests and gratefully accept abortion if a defect was found. It soon became clear that some women rejected both. The tests were refused by those whose feelings or beliefs would never allow them to consider abortion. Others who might have been prepared to abort an unwanted pregnancy chose to accept a child born of a wanted pregnancy, even at high risk of birth defect.
Most large hospitals now provide antenatal and genetic counsellors. If yours doesn’t, speak to your doctor. You should be given clear, unbiased information about any possible defect, the range of disability it could cause and the degree of risk in your case. If you decide on abortion, you will usually be offered counselling after the procedure as well as before. This can be a great help in working through your grief, which can be profound after a wanted pregnancy is terminated.
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