‘Courting’ is a word we don’t use much these days. Courting is the first step in the intricate process of intimate relationship building. It means ‘to pay court to,- make love to, to entice’ according to the Oxford Dictionary. To be courtly means ‘being polished and refined in manners’. So your courting style means the manners and refinements you use with a potential partner to favourably impress, romance and entice.
To fully understand your courting style when you are with a person who captivates you, sit down, a piece of note-paper and a pen handy and write the strategies, the enticements and the romantic behaviours you have used with former partners. You know in your heart the ones which work for you.
As a woman, are you mysteriously unavailable and keep a man guessing or are you openly sensual, flirtatious and talkative about your needs and desires? There are hundreds of courting behaviours. Look closely at your own. You can separate them from normal behaviour by recognising the special things you do. There is no right or wrong courting behaviour. Our purpose in asking you to list yours, whether you are in a relationship or not, is to give you personal insight. Your flirting/courting behaviours will be the ones you resort to again and again in all relationships. They are your guidelines for getting on with partners and potential partners. You probably learned them long ago and think you have perfected them. In a long-term relationship, look with fresh eyes at the behaviours you used to seduce your partner some time back, and reinvent them.
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