Some of you have no difficulty answering ‘very’. Others are more moderate in their acknowledgment. Some may be saying ‘not very’. Sensuality has a strong bearing on romance. The more sensual you are the more chance the relationship has to grow into a ‘fine romance’. ‘Sensual’ as defined by the Oxford Dictionary means ‘of or depending on the senses only and not the intellect or spirit’. You know the five senses well: sight, touch, sound, taste and smell. Add the sixth sense, intuition, as an important ingredient for relationships too.

A sensual person is not only aware of the senses, but uses them every day to build intimacy and communication. Sensuality is often heightened during the early days of the romance. It’s obvious in the preening you go through to look just right. Your body language supports it as well. You will tend to lean forward, make strong eye contact and have the repertoire of invitational signals when you flirt. You may run a hand through your hair, turn to be full frontal to the new love interest and smile frequently. These are all powerful visual clues for sensuality.

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When it comes to wearing perfume or aftershave, less is more. You don’t have to wear fragrance at all if that is your style. When you want to, do some research. A fragrance to complement you is worth seeking. Discover what works best on you. Is it oriental, floral, woody, fresh, classic or a mix of two of these? Spend some time at the fragrance counters of department stores and explain your personality and interests. A good fragrance consultant, by looking at your colouring and listening to your story will be able to suggest a few perfumes or aftershaves. Try a maximum of two on your wrists that day. Sniff them for the next few hours to decide how you feel about them and how they blend with your skin chemistry. If one of them doesn’t sing to you, go back another day and try two more. Keep going until you find a fragrance which makes you feel sensual. Many people have two favourites, one for day and a heavier one for evening. Or one for summer and one for winter.

When you apply your favourite, be discreet. That’s the secret. Let the fragrance be intimate with you. For women it’s best to put it on your skin under your clothes. Not on your neck and wrists, where its scent can overpower. Men using aftershave should just lightly, lightly, lightly, splash it on the face. The message for both men and women? Just because you can’t smell it yourself after ten minutes is no reason to reapply. Resist. Others know you have it on. Women often feel more sensual and responsive when they smell men’s fragrances. It must be subtle so it draws you in and leaves you wanting more.

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‘Courting’ is a word we don’t use much these days. Courting is the first step in the intricate process of intimate relationship building. It means ‘to pay court to,- make love to, to entice’ according to the Oxford Dictionary. To be courtly means ‘being polished and refined in manners’. So your courting style means the manners and refinements you use with a potential partner to favourably impress, romance and entice.

To fully understand your courting style when you are with a person who captivates you, sit down, a piece of note-paper and a pen handy and write the strategies, the enticements and the romantic behaviours you have used with former partners. You know in your heart the ones which work for you.

As a man, do you let women chase you, cook for you early in the relationship, take you out for dinner, phone you often or are you more the traditional Romeo who protects and courteously opens doors and knows he wants do the chasing?

As a woman, are you mysteriously unavailable and keep a man guessing or are you openly sensual, flirtatious and talkative about your needs and desires? There are hundreds of courting behaviours. Look closely at your own. You can separate them from normal behaviour by recognising the special things you do. There is no right or wrong courting behaviour. Our purpose in asking you to list yours, whether you are in a relationship or not, is to give you personal insight. Your flirting/courting behaviours will be the ones you resort to again and again in all relationships. They are your guidelines for getting on with partners and potential partners. You probably learned them long ago and think you have perfected them. In a long-term relationship, look with fresh eyes at the behaviours you used to seduce your partner some time back, and reinvent them.

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If choosing neutrals (greys, beiges, black, white or browns) is your preferred style, add the sparkle of colour in your accessories. For men this could be a tie or casual shirt. Add medium colour somewhere near your face especially if you are a play-it-safe person. Break away from the all-blue look, it merely characterises you as conservative and wanting a quiet and calm life.

For women, perhaps add a scarf, earrings or other jewellery or one eye-catching colour in a sweater or casual blouse. Certainly when women wear neutrals, wearing make-up adds the dimension of colour artistry.

For both men and women at this stage there are no preferred colours for getting on well with your new partner, except to say you need medium colours now. Be yourself and show. If you prefer black for whatever reason, know you will have to work very hard on the relationship to have closeness. Why not add some colour near your face so you are more approachable.

The purpose of wearing medium to deep colours at the developing stages of the relationship is to say at conscious and subconscious levels you are excited about being alive. You are not wishy-washy. You are not aloof. You have a colourful life and you are confidently intriguing. If your relationship is moving along happily you are probably feeling more confident within yourself anyway. Express it in your colour choices. There is no better time than now to be a little daring.

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Grooming makes all the difference to the first impression. Here are some tips for success:

* Go lightly with aftershave, very lightly. You don’t even have to wear it.

* Use a deodorant.

* Be very clean. No spots or stains on your tie or trousers, no blood on your collar from shaving, no grubby cuffs.

* Don’t wear a shirt which shows sweat stains under the arms. » Have clean well-cut nails.

* Have your hair under control, but don’t use too much gel or mousse. Your hair should look touchable.

* If you don’t go regularly to the hairdresser shave the back of the neck so it is clean .

* Shave the front of your neck low enough to stop hair tufts peeking over the shirt collar.

* Have clean shoes, well polished if leather.

* Tie your tie to the correct length (just over the belt buckle).

* Keep your shirt tucked in.

* Don’t adjust your genitals in public. This is gross behaviour.

Are women fussy? Yes. Do they notice details? You’d better believe it.

I he fit of a man’s clothes is very important to a woman. She notices every detail.

Women admire:

* The correct length of trousers, not too long and in particular, not too short.

* You, when you wear your belt on your waist line, not on your hips.

* You, when you wear a belt. Don’t think you can get away with not having one.

* The collar of your shirt fitting properly. It is not a good look to be pulling at your collar constantly. It is not a good look for you to have the top button of your shirt undone behind your tie.

* You, when your shirt fits your torso well. No straining, and no popped buttons please.

* The fact you know how to buy a jacket to fit your shoulders well.

* The fact you know how to buy trousers to fit your backside well.

Women are impressed with smooth-fitting cl0thes. Smooth does not mean tight. Even th0ugfi you have pockets, don’t put much in them. This includes coins and keys, handkerchiefs and bulky wallets. Why change the shape of one of your most interesting physical assets? Women always check out the shape of men’s backsides to see how well the trousers fit. Smooth is sensual.

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